Hepatitis B

As we all know Hepatitis B virus is no joke. It is transmissible through blood to bodily fluid contact which puts anyone in healthcare at risk. The virus itself is quite interesting however. It is a DNA virus which sets it apart from the other heptatitis viruses which are RNA viruses. Its DNA is strange since it is circular and incompletely double stranded. It is the goth kid of viruses, it just has to be different.



Just like this douchebag, you have to be a rebel HepB.

The virus assembles itself into an ironically named Dane particle. Just like Dane Cook, this is grossly annoying and not funny.



NOT FUNNY!!!!

The virus can establish either an acute infection which resolves and never recur. It can also establish itself a chronic asymptomatic infection. This is just like listening to Dane Cook's jokes. They infuriate in the beginning and then a few months later come back as traumatic flashbacks.

His genome may be similar to this

The capsule of the virus will create IgM antibodies (jokes on "Dr. McCoy" aside), but never IgG. This is like using ear plugs to sit through a Dane Cook routine, it will dull it but not help too much. Long term immunity comes from IgG to HbS antigen. This is the equivalent of having a lobotomy to block out the trauma of listening to those irritating, horrible jokes. I left Hepatitis C out of this to spare Pamela Anderson -- hooray!!