Update on professors

I know I have not written in in a while. Unfortunately, school has kept me fairly busy. During the gap I have not written many things have transpired. 2 more professors have quit. One of them, Dr. Damp was someone who I never noticed when he was here and will probably not notice since he will be gone. The other, Iced T will sorely be missed. He was one of the few who actually cared about the students.

I also have developed an even greater respect for Mumra, our professor of genetics and occasionally biochem. She plays classical guitar, a fact which gained her even more favor in my mind. She also has a total contempt for the same people I do. She told me about our statistics for our boards in far more detail than I wanted to know. It scared me a little. I think if she is the next to leave I will be hugging her leg screaming "Take me with you!!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!". At least it will just be a few months and then I will be away from the evil, incompetant professors here and on rotations.

Hepatitis B

As we all know Hepatitis B virus is no joke. It is transmissible through blood to bodily fluid contact which puts anyone in healthcare at risk. The virus itself is quite interesting however. It is a DNA virus which sets it apart from the other heptatitis viruses which are RNA viruses. Its DNA is strange since it is circular and incompletely double stranded. It is the goth kid of viruses, it just has to be different.



Just like this douchebag, you have to be a rebel HepB.

The virus assembles itself into an ironically named Dane particle. Just like Dane Cook, this is grossly annoying and not funny.



NOT FUNNY!!!!

The virus can establish either an acute infection which resolves and never recur. It can also establish itself a chronic asymptomatic infection. This is just like listening to Dane Cook's jokes. They infuriate in the beginning and then a few months later come back as traumatic flashbacks.

His genome may be similar to this

The capsule of the virus will create IgM antibodies (jokes on "Dr. McCoy" aside), but never IgG. This is like using ear plugs to sit through a Dane Cook routine, it will dull it but not help too much. Long term immunity comes from IgG to HbS antigen. This is the equivalent of having a lobotomy to block out the trauma of listening to those irritating, horrible jokes. I left Hepatitis C out of this to spare Pamela Anderson -- hooray!!

News

I know I have not written in almost 2 weeks. Regretfully I have been studying. School decided that the best time to teach us first year biochem would be during the midpoint of our second year. Better late than never I guess. The result however of this sudden rise in actual substance in our classes has forced me to change who my favorite professors are.

My old top 3:

1) Dr Awesomo
2) Dr McCoy
3) Cheesy

My new top 3:

1) Awesomo
2) Mumra
3) Twitchy Micro guy

Since we have been doing biochem, our genetics professor Mumra gave some lectures and they have been spot-on perfect. Her lectures on protein metabolism and hemochromatosis are fluff-free and works of art. Dr Awesomo, our physiology professor has this rhythmic wheeze and geometric drawings for notes. The content of said notes is perfect as well. He does continually apologize for Microsoft Word changing that square labelled "metabolism" to a circle. Dr McCoy taught us immunology and just like the Dr McCoy on Star Trek he also had a catch phrase. "Don't let some <medical specialty> tell you it's <medical condition> , it's <immunogloulin or complement factor> mediated". He as shown above has been displaced. The #3 spot is the least important here and I decided to give the Twitchy Micro Guy a chance to take someone else out of a higher spot. He gives incredibly dense notes, but they are informative. He also drinks more Coke than legally allowed. Cheesy was that anatomy professor who told everything the way it was supposed to be. He quit and found a better job after last year.

Back from the dead

I last posted about how I had closed this blog until I figured out something useful to do with it. I now have figured out what useful to do with it. I have decided to use this blog to post school related things and other medical related news and notes. This will leave my other blog which is now "underground" open for me to post anything else on it.

My story so far -- I finished 1 and a half years of med school and now am faced with the COMLEX and USMLE. I have been blowing off school's tests in order to study for it. Needless to say I am not a crammer so it has landed me in a few retakes. I have heard plenty of people tell me how it is up to me to learn on my own. I doubt many of them practice what they preach.

Story of my school so far -- Our original dean was fired after first year because of the gross inadequacies of our curriculum and the deterioration of our pass rate on the COMLEX. The new dean, who is technically only the interim dean, apparently has a plan to correct these problems. If it happens I will not be around to see it.

This seems like a fairly good introduction. We will see how this proceeds.

Last chopper out of 'Nam

I had to leave Israel to go home. Hamas ruined my day. There was a suicide bomber loose in Kfar Saba and I had to be on standby in case something blew up. It was a very tense 7 hours. This combined with others on my program leaving for home had me very on edge. Ultimately the suicide bomber was arrested, but I was still very shaken. I spent an afternoon on the phone to get my flight out. Apparently I was put on one of the few open seats untill August. All the tourists are leaving now. I got to see some good runs such as a number of ankle fractures, a number of MVAs and even a motorcycle accident. I also got to party a few good nights, but for now this blog is closed untill I find other use for it. I now leave this open letter to Hamas.


To Hamas:

Please stop sucking and be funnier. I mean seriously; those ski masks are so out. Every terrorist group has them and they just do not look scary anymore. It is sort of like the way goth is just loserish and not scary anymore. Get with it Hamas. On a more serious note: you are another group who is ruining the collective good time of my people. This letter orders you to cease and desist all activities contributing to my people's bad day. Failure to comply will result in a severe beating which will be delivered 4-6 weeks by standard mail.

signed,


The Ambulance in the Artist.

Only a few more weeks left

Time does certainly fly. There are about 2 and a half weeks left to my program. I have seen 3 members of our group leave. I would not blame them with everything that has been going on. It means there will be a number of unfilled shifts as they farmed us out to Herzelia as well as the Kfar Saba station. There is no sign of them filling those spots anytime soon either. Hopefully the high school kids who usually fill the stations can pick up the slack. This should not matter though as the call volume has gone down dramatically.

The lucky break that I just found out was that the Israeli Air Force destroyed a missile which had enough range to hit Tel Aviv. Kfar Saba, where I am stationed is north of Tel Aviv. I am also thankful there is the wall which was built at the green line as Kfar Saba is 2 miles away from it. I feel safe running at night because of it. I will be taking a trip to Bayit Vagan on Thursday and will re-assess things once I get back that Sunday night. The mood has become more depressed among the members of my group and things have become too quiet.

Bombs Bombs and more Bombs

I left off from my last post saying how a few cities were hit by rockets. Now a large number in the north have been hit and Haifa as well. The Mason-Dixon line of where not to travel has been pretty well set at Haifa. My friend who was stationed in Carmiel has been since moved to Be'er Sheva and others up north have been moved as well. It was eerie watching the news at the station and hearing about all the attacks. This brings me to my open letter to the government of Lebanon.


To the Government of Lebanon:


Please stop ruining the good times of all those Haifa and north. The Hezbolla is making everyone miserable most of all me. Haifa was a place I wanted to visit. This letter orders you to cease and desist all activities which are contributing to my people's collective bad day. Failure to comply will result in a severe beating which will be delivered 4-6 weeks by standard mail.

Thanks,

The Ambulance in The Artist